whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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