last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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