mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
