So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
