No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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