her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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