I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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