Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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