would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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