i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a search helicopter?!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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