its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
