good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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