So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
