He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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