I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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