I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
