I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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