I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
