I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
where am i from again
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
