I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.