WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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