So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too