i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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