His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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