do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize