how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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