i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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