These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
