I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
