I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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