Sry I called you an 8
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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