Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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