youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.