we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed