I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie