But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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