in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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