I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize