When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
