what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Randomize
