I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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