I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
time to smoke my breakfast
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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