just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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