Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
