My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
