Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
