What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
