honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
