well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.