I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!