Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait