:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo