I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
