I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
