I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So much Jack, so little girl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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