In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Congratulations! We have a period
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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