now i know why i became what i already was.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize