what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
