Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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