when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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