so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
