discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
