They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
