it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
