Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
