There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
