At least make sure they are 18
Why
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
