I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize