is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
